The worst pain is self-inflicted.
I’ve said things before that I shouldn’t have said. I’ve done things that I shouldn’t’ve. I’ve even laughed inappropriately, awkwardly out of nervousness. I’ve been angry, embarrassed, humiliated. I’ve gone against the will, the plan for my life. I’ve had free will, yet chose the most costly. I’ve hit rock bottom. But at least it wasn’t on display for the whole world to see. We are in a season, however, when one man’s actions are.
Every spring, The Ten Commandments movie airs the laundry of Moses:
In Land of Goshen Egypt, born and raised
In the wilderness is where he spent most of his days
Chillin out, relaxin, floatin’ in a pool
His sister flipped the script; the story is kinda cool
When Pharaoh the King, who was up to no good
Started makin’ trouble in the neighborhood…
You know ’em. Basketweave-born, burnin’ bush, breakin’ the stone tablets Moses. He had a hard knock life from the jump. And yet for all that was stacked against him, for all of his faults, God had a purpose for his life and those around him. If Moses were one of my students, “impulsive, but has leadership ability” would definitely be in the comments section of his report card. His Parent Teacher Conferences would no doubt include conversation about potential, amidst his investigating fires, instigating fights, but not always following instructions, “He has passion and promise, but at times lacks self control and compliance.”
If Moses were on a team, his jersey number would be 40. He eventually grew up to be a captain of sorts. Everybody in his hometown had a lot of kids. A lot. So many, that when a new king came into power he made them slaves out of fear that if a war broke out, they might organize and threaten him and his kingdom. The more the king mistreated them, however, the more the Egyptians multiplied. The king then ordered that all boys be killed, but God spared Moses in arguably the best plot twist ever written. Pharaoh’s own daughter was the life preserver that rescued and removed Moses from the Nile River. Later in life he would go on to do other great things with water, but ultimately made a slip that would cost him. Moses led two million of his people through plagues and problems, wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. More than a triple threat, he was an author, lawgiver, prophet, and mediator. He responded to God’s anger at the people for their hard headedness and short term memories. He reacted to the people’s complaining. He reacted to their criticism of his character. He snapped. Literally and figuratively. He broke the stone tablets with God’s laws in half. And when told by God to speak to a rock in order to pour out water and satisfy the people’s thirst, he disobeyed and instead hit the rock.
In an instant, his celebrity, his popularity, his endorsement deal were all called into question. He was forbidden to enter The Promised Land.
Whether it was a knee jerk reaction to the people trippin'(you’ve got to watch the movie): partying, heckling, slandering, and rebelling against him and God, or a final reaction to stress, Moses was disobedient. He did something he shouldn’t have. God therefore issued a major punishment, a hard place. What He didn’t do, is reject Moses. Moses disqualified himself. Even the greatest, most talented people are not immune to error or its consequence. But God still used him. And He wants to use you and I too.
When all of the headlines of our lives: our family, friends, and foes– see and say that we’re wrong, less than, or even too much, God simply sees us as his children and declares us not guilty. He offers us freedom from our mistakes. He stood up for us by way of the cross and still gave us the reward of salvation. God knows our personalities. Moses was always a reactor, and some of us have always been the way we are. But God can take who we are, our strengths and weaknesses and mold them until they’re right for His purpose.
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to change and use my abilities for man. But now I just want God to use me for His will.
“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:1